Groundhog's Date

In my last post, I aligned my dating life to the movie groundhogs day. I thought i would elaborate on that theory...

In a fit of boredom (and lonliness) I have put up a few profiles on personals sites. I just dont get out enough (lack of female friends...and its not too safe for me to be clubbing solo). So until this fall, when i re-enter academia, personals sites just make sense. anyhow, the groundhog's day metaphor comes in here.

when i meet someone online, we go through the same steps. its like the same thing over and over again...just with different men. First we share a few IMs, then a few phone calls, and eventually we set up to meet for happy hour. We drink a beer, I smile, he charms, we laugh. i ask the same questions of him that i ask on every date, i respond to his questions with the same answers i give out on every date. I tell the same jokes, and the same stories, he laughs at the same point in the story that every other man laughs at. I'm sure the first time i told the story it was funny, but after telling the same damn story twenty times, i feel like a dating machine. As the night goes on, he gets extra flirty. he might grab my hand or put his arm around me and i act like its so special. i'm sure once upon a time it really did feel special, now it just feels like every other date. he gets that cute, i'm so into you giggle so i imitate it, clearly mine is fake. i think the staff at the few bars i frequent wonder about me. and why i always show up with a different man and act as though i'm on the same date. i have a few "signature" first-date outfits so it must seem strange. in the same outfit, at the same bar, and the same table, drinking the same drink, eating the same food - just a different man. at the end of the date, he walks me to my car and says goodnight with an innocent kiss. the next day he calls, and i dont answer. i just didnt feel the connection. so then i do it all again...with a different man, of course.

its pathetic - i can predict each moment of the date like i'm watching a rerun of the cosby show. i'm patiently awaiting the man that will sweep me off my feet, and yank me out of this groundhog day pattern...because i dont think i can take much more.