Internet Dating

I remember at the onset of the internet era, there was much concern that computers would replace human interaction. People worried that we would forget how to communicate on a good old fashioned face-to-face basis. Have we realized our fear? Have we forgotten the people skills necessary for real-life communication? Look at internet dating...

Match.com, Eharmony.com, Yahoo! Personals...so many choices...

What ever happened to meeting people at the local bar or club, or having a friend set you up on a blind date? Internet dating seems much easier, more time-efficient and is becoming more and more popular. Years ago if you said "i met him online" people would look at you funny...now, its almost normal. Internet dating is not just for the below-average looking folks, or the computer nerds...not anymore.

But it works right? I mean, Match.com claims to be the root of over 100 marriages and engagements each month. And it makes perfect sense. For the same cost as a night out on the town (by the time you figure cover to a club, a few drinks, etc.) you get an entire month's subscription to a dating site. Not only can you surf pictures, but you can customize your search based on a plethora of options - geography, age, income, education, body type, children, job, hobbies, and more. You can't do that at the bar. You then send an icebreaker, or a wink - just to test the waters, to see if he is interested. Then the emailing starts, eventually moving on to instant messaging, then a phone call, and eventually (if he has made it through all the previous phases successfully) a first date.

At a bar, on a typical saturday night, you might talk to a guy or two...online you can chat with a handful of guys in one night...maybe more. At the bar, you meet someone's representative...online you get insight into that person's character through their self-authored bio. its like an advanced screening process. and because its over a computer as opposed to a face-to-face encounter - it is really easy to say "you are not my type", and being rejected doesnt hurt. you can ask the tough questions without feeling embarrased, and be candid in your responses - what do you have to lose?

A few warnings tho...based on my experiences. watch out for the closed mouth pics - probably means he is hiding a nasty grill. or the head shot only people...they probably don't have a body worth bragging about. online dating allows people to hide their faults, and glorify their strengths. you can be who you want in your profile and you can leave out the things you are ashamed of.

Sounds easy, right? Unfortunately, its not. It takes a lot of time and many bad dates. But do I believe? Sure. Why not? I've made some great friends on dating sites, and been on a handful of great dates too.

So are we fogetting how to interact in person? I don't think so. Because the truth is not told until the face-to-face encounter. the online portion of the dating cycle can only last so long...eventually we need to meet. Reading someone's blog just doesn't have the same effect as meeting for lunch. Reading an email doesn't cultivate butterflies like a first date can. and even the greatest of IM conversations can't compare to a long night of conversing on the couch in each others arms.