First Generation Americans

I went to get my nails done today...

there was a new young lady working who did my nails. it was oddly refreshing to have an american-born women do my nails (consiering i was at a vietnamese shop). We were able to have great conversation during my much-needed mani. turns out that her parents own their own nail shop in Laurel where she had been working since she was 14. she left their shop to come out here and work for her best friend's husband. she said that she just couldnt handle being around her parents ALL the time. they put too much pressure on her. wanted her to be a doctor. she majored in psychology. wanted her to get a high paying job somewhere. she wanted to do nails. it was fascinating to hear her talk about her experiences as a first-generation American. there were so many parallels between her experiences and my own...

then it was time to get my eyebrows done...

the owner's mother did that. she only speaks broken english, but due to my frequent visits, i have developed a relationship with her. she had me laying on a bed-like thing, rubbing hot wax onto my face. she asked if i had a boyfriend. i said no. she seemed suprised. knowing my age, it was hard for her to believe that my parents had not yet married me off. she asked why i didnt just go to india to find a husband. ummm...no. then she proceeded to tell me how her son had dated an american once and it made her so mad. that she wouldnt accept an american into her house and how he had ended up marrying a vietnamese woman and how it made her so happy.

what?!?!?!

Guess what lady?? I AM AN AMERICAN.

The children of immigrants to this country have a battle to fight that is very unique because we are not fighting it against just anyone. we are fighting it against our parents. we are a cultural group in our own. Mom, Dad, you brought me to the country to raise me as an american...where people CHOOSE to work in fields they like, where people CHOOSE who they marry. Its not fair for you to expect me to succumb to your cultural values when you raised me in THIS culture. I grew up watching tv shows and movies where people fall in love, even my neighbors parents' talk about when they fell in love. "arranged marriage" is not in my vocabulary. I went to schools where teachers told me i could do anything i wanted. but yet, when it came down to it, you told me what i HAD to study in college. If you didnt want american children, you should not have raised your children in America.

When i told the lady who was waxing my brows that i am an american (immediately following her 'americans are bad people' comment) - she got quiet. and tried so hard, bless her heart, to cover it up. "Its hard on the kids, they dont learn your culture" and i said "children learn whatever it is that you value, and its much harder on the kids when the parents dont love each other" she said "well these americans all believe in divorces". at that time she had finished my eyebrows. I stood up, looked her dead in the eye, and said "my parents are divorced"

...she had nothing left to say.